Nothing? Nothing? What am I paying these schools for if my children are learning nothing?
OR sometimes I ask what happened at school that day. Same answer: nothing. So, am I to assume you sat on the carpet looking at the ceiling for 3 1/2 hours? In silence.
I have considered giving up even referring to school so as to save myself the exasperation.
Which is why, today, I was pleasantly surprised by a new and opposite answer to the daily interrogation.
Me: How was school today?
T-Bird: Great! We learnt a LOT!
Me: Really? What did you learn?
T-Bird, pauses for effect: Our teacher taught us how to breathe!
She seems completely chuffed with herself.
I'm speechless. I'm thinking, well, what have you been doing for the past five years then?
Me: What do you mean she taught you how to breathe?
T-Bird demonstrates, most dramatically. She closes her eyes and LOUDLY breathes in through flaring nostrils. As she does she raises her arms to the sides and up above her head. Her exhalation causes the air to whisper out between her lips in a controlled (but also LOUD) blow. Her arms lower like the wings of an exhausted butterfly.
T-Bird: It's pretty cool, hey?
Yip.
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