Salmonella sucks

Just when I was thinking that life without cell-phones would be impossible, my hubby goes and gets deliriously ill on the other side of the world (with a perfectly good cellular telephone in his possession) and switches the gadget to silent. Now I know that it's not the presence of mobile technology that actually makes life bearable, but the presence of an accompanying and competent individual to operate the device. So answer your phone! 

Dammit.

Trying to get information from this particular person when he is pyrexic is a lot like asking a 3 year old to help you with your algebra. Pointless.

Here's me trying to find out if he's ever going to come home (alive), and here's him passed out in the emergency ward of a hospital miles away from home. Oh yes, and here's the cell phone on SILENT!

I don't know where he is. I don't know how he is. He won't answer my calls. Maybe he's angry with me. Maybe he doesn't love me any more. Maybe he's dead! I don't know if I'll ever see him again. I don't know how to access his life-insurance policy. 

Here's me again crying, wailing, gnashing teeth. Here I am yanking things out of my wardrobe looking for suitably mournful attire. 

Eventually he returns my calls. It's well after I've started preparing the memorial service order of ceremony. He's going to come home on a different flight. Seems they might have saved his life. Doctor Wonderful said something about Salmonella poisoning. He missed his flight home and will be back the next day.

I breathe. Stupid silent function! Stupid business trip! Stupid multi-city country! Stupid miles and miles between him and me!

When he came home, I killed him.

(Just a bit.)