The Ten (or thereabouts) Commandments...

... according to my offspring.

1. Always never steal.

2. Don't murder anybody.

3. Don't worship Ben 10. Or Barbie

4. Only worship God.

5. Husbands and wives must never break apart.

6. (E) Always feed your children.

7. You can't worship two gods at the same time.

8. Always keep your Saturday as a resting day - you must NEVER work on a Saturday - save it to do church. (E) It's called the weekings. Is tomorrow Saturday?

9. Love your mom and your dad. (E) And never hit them.

10. Respect other people.

11. Never be greedy for someone else's things.

12. Never kill a policeman.

T-Bird 6 years 7 months; AirBear 5 years.

Should I be worried?

She was staring absentmindedly out of the car window as we drove the wet roads to Hout Bay. Raindrops left perforated trails against her window and she watched them for a while, tracing her finger along their interrupted pathways.

"Mom," she said at last, " have you and Dad ever robbed a bank?"

Choke. What? Stall.

"Er, no, Honey. Robbing banks is bad. We would never do something like that."

Silence.

"No, but like stealing," she offered. "Have you guys ever stolen something?"

"That wouldn't be right," I said. "So: no. We don't do what isn't right."

Then the thought struck me:

"How about you?" I asked. "Have you even stolen anything?"

She looked up from the watery design on her window and rolled her eyes. "How could I?" she sounded almost exasperated. "I have a family who won't even let me go into the front garden on my own!"

So now I asked myself: was that frustration at not being able to go into our unwalled front garden on the main road in our suburb, or was it regret at not having had a chance to burgle?

The mind boggles. Really it does.