There. I said it. Now you can think I'm a complete loser, but I'm working at turning that around.
So why did I mention it, then. Well, something kinda funny has been developing over the course of my sessions. And I wanted to show you that even though I'm classified Depressive, I still see the brighter side. Sometimes. (And hopefully, it will also explain to those who see me during the school pick-up, which is usually half an hour after my appointment, why I look like kak).
So, I'm 3 sessions in, right? You'd think that I'd be making progress, right? That things would start to be ironing themselves out, right? That I'd be getting better, right?
Well, I've been measuring my progress on the Kleenex scale. This is a very accurate measuring device. The way it works is that after a session with the shrink-lady, I empty my handbag and count the number of tissues I managed to sog through during our discussion. Seeing as I haven't discovered a bin in the consulting room, I discreetly shove each drenched tissue into my handbag, whilst reaching for the next one.
Session one was a hefty 11 tissues. I thought that it would be difficult to match that, but session two left me with a slightly greater tally of 12 icy crumpled tissues in my handbag. I was convinced that that would be my maximum excretory sum. In fact, today's session started with me claiming how together I am and that I hope not to blubber as badly as I did in our previous sessions. But oh, how the mighty fall! I just about dehydrated this morning with the awesome tissue-tally of 16. And one of those was a whopper Gary Player Special Large Men's paper Hanky that was already in my handbag, and I didn't want it to get secondary snot so decided to use it first.
Sigh! Someone pour me a drink. I'm dry. Er, and I could use a drink.
4 comments:
Good for you Jess. I hope it all works out..eventually....Having a glass of Alto Rouge...actually my third...If I have some for you...will you be prepared to share my hangover tomorow? I cannot be held responsabubble for nay mistakes here OK!
Would it hurt your feelings if I wanted to slap a high five with myself? Not because I think I have anything to do with it but because I'm glad?
If you're pleased I'm in therapy, er, thanks, I think. I think high-fiving might be going a step too far though.
my feeling with drugs, therapy, alcohol etc is 'whatever gets you through'- loved the tissue tally, it made me laugh.
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