Edgy

It feels like I put on someone else's shoes. They look like mine. They're the same size as mine. Same colour. Same design. But my feet do not fit well against the soles. It feels like I am trying to get comfortable around someone else's footprint. And the worst part of it is that it's not just the feet - my whole body is involved in this discomfort.

(Eeek! Right? And by the way, this picture has absolutely nothing to do with what I just wrote - it just looks hectically UNCOMFORTABLE! Just so you know I have absolutely no footwear in my possession that even remotely look like these shoes)

I often have this experience. It's a type of claustrophobia which starts right inside of me. As it grows I start to feel very uncomfortable in my own skin. My body becomes a burden. It's heavy and awkward and it squeezes me. I sometimes imagine that the only way to shed this pinch would be to climb out of my own skin. Yes, then I would be free of this rigid casing.

I get all itchy inside - but it's not a physical itch - just a longing to shed the restraints of this earth suit. My ankles ache, my back curves, my fingers tingle. Even my scalp starts to creep. And just when I think I need to deworm myself or invest in some kind of medicinal remedy, the feeling melts away, and for a while, I am happy to be me again.