For the first time ever, I was grateful today that my house was a complete pigsty. It gave me something to do to avoid missing work, missing hubby, missing kids, missing life outside of solitary confinement.
There was that, and I drank loads of coffee as I argued with myself about where I should start my assault on my To Do List: the study/ the spare room/ the LOADS of STUFF/ the kid's toy box/ correction: plural - toy boxes/ the TONS of STUFF/ the linen cupboard/ the entropy behind the bar/ the garden shed.
At this point it would be fair to say that I am eagerly awaiting my super-hero powers from my recent (radio-active) spider bite to kick in so that I can let you all know that that To Do List I just went through, is what I accomplished before 10am.
Sadly, I am still super-powerless. But I have not given up faith that at some point in the near future I will be bestowed with X-RAY VISION, SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH, and ULTRASONIC SPEED*.
*I reckon that if I have several options to look forward to, and I only get one gift, at least I have more chance of expecting the gift I receive. For instance, if I was eagerly and only anticipating "INVISIBILITY" and instead got "GLOWS-IN-THE-DARK", how completely disappointing would that be?
The possibility of super-powers extends in so many directions... If I had a super-power, even FaceBook would be affected. Can you just imagine my status? Jessica can heal herself. Real quick. People would think I was on strong drugs - probably a very effective anti-biotic. Or how about this: Jessica is Mr Incredible. Kachow! I do like the possibility of declaring: Jessica glows in the dark - but that might be just too much for my FaceBook Friends to take in. If I said Jessica is invisible or Jessica can stop a speeding bullet, I might raise unsubstantiated concerns for my emotional well-being and someone might send me a flower for my garden or a sea urchin for my aquarium out of sympathy.
Which is why, when I do receive my "special talent", I will assume a non-presumptuous alter ego. I will be an unnoticed wall flower, perhaps a shrinking violet. I will wear spectacles. And brown tweed skirts. I will hide my nose in a book. I will talk quietly and stutter in front of large audiences.
So, I guess that's that then. The day I become a librarian my secret will be out.
But until then, I will continue my battle with the debris of existence which fills my home. And hopefully, I will be able to tick off at least one thing on the To Do List by the end of the week.
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