Since starting this treatment, I have had mixed responses from all over. Some people have poo-pooed the notion that anti-depressants are actually effective at all, insisting that they only work due to their placebo-effect . Some people have tried to convince me that I can cope just fine without them. Some have tried not to talk about it at all - like it makes them feel uncomfortable. While still others have asked me to to pass them a couple of pills under the table (which could explain my empty pack...)
What do I think?
Well. Over the weekend there was so much on, and I was really caught up in the adrenalin of the bike race and the business of socialising and catching up, that I forgot my pills over two consecutive days. And you know, I actually felt it by late Sunday and spilling over into yesterday.
It came as a heaviness. An empty tiredness. A longing to be somebody else, somewhere else, somehow. Just unhappy. A misery that crept like a stalking panther and settled itself somewhere behind my eyebrows, hiding in the hustle and bustle of my day, readying itself to pounce and devour. This melancholy caught my attention, reminding me about the little white pills resting undisturbed in the medicine chest. I took yesterday's dose early, and like mist, the prowler in my head disappeared leaving only a feint footprint in my mind of it's recent presence.
So, to answer the question: I think these drugs work for me. I feel better. A little more like the person I know I am. A little bit more like ME.
3 comments:
Hii...i know we don´t know that much about each other, but anyway. I can tell you a little bit about my experience. the problem is to find the right medicine first, it can take many years...i know at the beggining you feel like yoursel again...but as the time goes by you feel and the people around you tell you that you have changed and you don´t even notice. it took me like 10 years to go back to the person i used to be...
All i can say is that you must try to do all this, try to handle the pressure alone, without any of those anti depressive things...you get used to them and it´s very difficult to leave them even thoug you are never going to admit it. I have seen that you have a beautifull family that´s ther for you..try to use that;). i promise you that you´ll feel better.
Well sorry if you mind that i write here. Take care...bye
Hey Jess, sorry to hear that you have been so unhappy. I think you need to do what you think is right for you, which at the end of the day affects not only you but those around you too. Many people don't realise the efects on the family while we selfishly "deal with it on our own" or attempt to!! I was on anti-depressants for most of the last two years, the one I was put on last year, Cipralix, made me feel like a new person after about two weeks. I had more energy, (which, is great when you need to keep up with the demands of 3 kids and a hubby),I found that my outlook on life wasn't as negative as it used to be and I felt myself enjoying the little things more instead of finding doom and gloom in everything.
I am not able to take them anymore (finances) and have definately felt the effects (by that I do not mean addiction) by reverting back to my old crappy way of thinking and feeling. I think, that the one thing you need to try to do, perhaps, is to seek counseliing for the reasons behind the way you feel(unlike me) so that if you ever decide to stop taking your meds, you can adjust "back to normal" in a different state of mind. Good luck, I will think of you often and send you a few prayers. XXX T
I don't know much about anti-depressant drugs to make an informed comment. With all my heart I want to say 'whatever gets you through your day'...I'm reading with interest and learning. Love jane
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