Today marks the auspicious occasion of the uniting of LOADS of STUFF with TONS of STUFF in the sacred space of the STUDY. Their union is verified by their exuberant and instantaneous procreation, and so we celebrate the arrival of a HELLUVA LOTTA STUFF into the STUFF family and declare the inner-sanctum of the STUDY holy ground.
The congregation is requested not to disturb the STUFF in the STUDY, as its behaviour is unpredictable and can be fatal at any given second. Also we cannot take any responsibility for geological disturbances, the collapsing of carefully balanced STUFF or the loss of persons or property within the defined borders of the STUDY. Please do not venture beyond the "safe-zone" as clearly demarcated by the Police-Tape. Also, it seems that STUFF not only has reproductive properties, but it also solemnly abides by the universal laws of entropy.
Only seasoned veterans experienced in STUFF management may proceed for short distances at a time. We recommend that any person undertaking such an adventure be fully insured as well as to take the necessary precautions (ie rope, hard hat, ear plugs, bug spray, low GI snacks, rehydration solution, collapsible porta-potty, thermal underwear, candles, suitable walking shoes - preferably with a steel toe-cap, abseiling equipment, dart gun, flares, a water resistant - up to 25mm - one-man tent, satellite tele-communication device, map book, a radiation exposure badge, the names and numbers of 1. a family member not residing at the same address as the explorer 2. the family physician 3. the closest movie rental outlet).
In the unlikely event of the immediate extermination of the STUFF, immediate family members are granted an island holiday. If, and this is a more realistic prediction of the near-future, the STUFF sets up semi-to permanent residence, immediate family members are requested to make the most of it until mom just can't bear it any more, or dad has no more easily located shoes to wear, in which case it is suggested that the house be set on fire and the family move.
Good luck.
1 comment:
your blogs are just so entertaining Jess, I am beginning to look forward to them. Well done. T
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