Oprah (who I would vote for if ever she decided to a. be a South African and b. run for president - because she is one of the few people in the world who could actually decide either of these things without being challenged on it) said that you would know you were on the road to success if you would do your job and not be paid for it. Guess that would make me fairly successful, right? I mean not just me. Any mom, really. In fact, if it were a truly accurate statement, there is probably not very much that can be considered more successful than mothering, except, perhaps the inspired few who have actually arranged someone to pay them to look after their own kids.* (Smells a little of Moses in the bullrushes, doesn't it?)
*I've not officially ever heard of any modern day mom who managed to get paid (more than a monthly grocery budget) for rearing their OWN children, but I do know of a granny that charged her daughter 20 bucks a day to watch the grandkids while Mommy worked a double shift at the local Shoprite. It's true! Shocking, but true. I mean what granny doesn't get with the program the moment those sweet little offspring of their offspring make their first appearance? You would think that a Granny's one true desire in all the world is to dote on her descendents, the bearers of her legacy. You would think it, but apparently, it just ain't so.
But back to the success issue. You can't think you have become successful just because you're slightly better off than your parents AND you aren't being paid to be there, now can you? What is success really? Is it tangible? Does it have a solid way to measure it?
What stops day-to-day accomplishments from being a measure of personal success? For about a year and a half I was convinced that the fact I had gotten through (another) 24 hour period without running away/ killing myself/ killing somebody else was a pretty good sign that I was OK. Are you successful then, just because you actually do get to put your head down on your pillow at the end of the day? Surely if you hadn't actually made it to the end of the day, you would have been unsuccessful, unless, of course, it had been your plan NOT to make it to the end of the day, in which case you would have been very successful in deed.
Too many people measure success by the reward they receive for the work they've done: the prize, the promotion, the salary. But what about the stay-at-home mom, who isn't receiving a prize, a promotion or a salary?
There are small pleasures that signpost the road to success for the stay-at-home mom: the first time your child wipes her own poo-bum WITHOUT getting crap on her fingers or the toilet seat (trust me this is major league success!), the triumphant co-ordination of a dentist appointment, a ballet recital, a trip into town to drop of your husband's forgotten sarmies, the weekly grocery purchase and getting both kids innoculated while remembering all the words to the Heffalump song all in the precious space of an afternoon - I'd say that's pretty successful, simply getting the parking spot closest to entrance 5 at Tygervalley - yip! Successful! Having supper ready before 7 o' clock - almost succesful, if it's supper with four different veggies - getting closer, if the kids actually eat it ALL - you've hit the nail on it's successful little head!
At the end of the day, one thing is true about success - you can't buy success and receive it Whump! in your lap. No. Success is acquired little by little. You pay for it in installments every day. Bit by bit. Gathering it in a box of memories, an album of accomplishments, an after dinner table of happy, satiated tummies.
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