Scary Hair

For a while now I have been losing chunks of hair. No. Losing is too gentle a word. More like sacrificing. No, that's too obliging. As though I'm willingly giving it up, all charitable-like. Although, in the past I had enough to pay tithes with, house the poor in, dress the naked with, all of a sudden, it's feeling a lot cooler atop my cranium. Doesn't help that winter is Com(b)ing (with a silent "b" just for the sake of the pun!).

No. My hair has been resolutely immigrating off my head and into the shower drain/ under my pillow/ between the bristles of my hairbrush/ between my fingers, if I happen to run them through these rapidly depleting locks of mine. My scalp is steadfastly becoming reminiscent of drought-stricken grasslands: a patch here and there, with ever-increasing spaces in between. I'm having a bad-hair year.

It's like my hair has a life of it's own. It breathes and thinks by itself. And it doesn't like me! It wants to be somewhere else. It's ganging up on me. The shower drain hair is trying to clog up the plug enough for me to drown. The under-pillow hair is regrouping to necklace me while I sleep. The hair between my fingers is planning a sneaky velcro type of entanglement. And the hair in my brush, well, that just quit on principle.

Even though it is quite evident that this malicious behaviour on the part of my hair is disappointingly unsuccessful, another, rather insidious side-effect is taking place. Thinning. And we're not talking Weigh-Less Jubilation thinning here. What if I go bald before I'm 30? If my hair organized itself better, and each strand got with the program, I may well be doomed.

Look, I know there are people starving in Ethiopia and all, but we're talking about something that has been profusely dense and impenetrable for decades. Loosing it, or drastically diminishing its abundance, will seriously alter my life. We're talking differences in weight, here!

So now I sit with my fingers in my hair - quite literally, and I'm battling to type because of how restraining it is.

Just thought I'd share the whine, a little - it's a good year.