Martian Mother

I'm thinking of moving. I've got my eye on Mars. I figure it would be just about right. Considering that one day on Mars is 24 hours 37 minutes long, I am particularly turned on by the thought of getting just over half an hour extra sleep every day. That's a pretty big selling point for me. That, and the fact that one year takes 687 days. That would instantaneously (just about) half my age, giving me the opportunity to explore and enjoy my youth better than I did the first time around.

Sure there's the fact that the atmosphere is about 95% carbon dioxide. I've survived many a night in bed with two farting offspring, so I figure I could handle that. I'm told that the radiation that hits our neighbouring planet tends to be a bit on the wild side too, but I'm up for wearing thick suits and masks. What better way to avoid a bad hair day than to just slip a mask over the whole toot and call it a day? And on the upside, Mars' gravitation is only 38% as strong as the earth's. Can you just imagine how perky these boobs would be in that kind of atmosphere? I could toss out my WonderBra collection and go commando! Woohoo! Some serious scientist guy pointed out that because of the lack of air pressure on Mars, your blood would boil if you went there without a pressurised suit. I say, whoopee, it's not like any mother I know has never experienced that before!

There is some suggestion that Martian weather sucks something awful, but I figure there's not a lot that could be worse than what we've been through in the last two months. So, bring it on! Besides, if you get yourself a size bigger on the anti-radiation suit, you could stuff all kinds of thermal insulation goodies in there with you to make yourself a pretty snug set of togs. I'm also kind of interested in the gale-force winds that blow for months at a time. It really er, blows my hair back. I mean, can you just imagine how many loads of washing you could get dry in one afternoon? I'd be completely stoked!

So, anyone interested in a little travel?