Sometimes you just have to give in to OC

I was overtaken by some bizarre compulsion to analyse my FaceBook contacts. Why? you ask. I don't know, I say. I have no freaking idea what came over me. I just knew I had to go through everybody and find some kind of mathematical explanation as to how my connections, well, connect.

So I started. I drew up each profile and made a list of how many mutual friends I have with each contact. I know, I know. I hear you shaking your head at me in disbelief. I know what you're thinking, and I share your thoughts completely: NUTS!

There must be a way I can organise these contacts of mine, that they make sense, I thought. So I grouped them. Firstly, everyone who shares no other mutual friends with me. Then those of them that I have one mutual friend with. Then two. Then three. All the way up to 24. And my dear darling husband coming in trumps all on his own with 35 mutual friends.

Right, I thought, surely the people I am closest to will move in the same circles as me, share the same bonds... and... nope. It wasn't so. The people I think I'm closest to had in the vicinity of  5-10 shared contacts. Hmmm.

Family members shared an equal number, more or less, as we all know each other, and we know our cousins and they know all of us, so that doesn't really count either.

School friends scored the highest on average, as we spent 12 years of our lives getting to know one another in various classes, so we all know each other through a lifetime of education. No degree of friendship is really reflected through the number of mutual contacts we have. Sigh.

So far, my hours of toiling and sorting have led me to absolutely zero mathematically acceptable conclusion.

A couple of individuals stand out - the girl I've never met, but who I share 3 serious contacts with. The friend who I haven't spoke to for years as we've kind of drifted apart who, next to my husband, has the highest number of shared contacts - I'd kind of think that we would have more to say to each other, or at least more people to talk about!  I notice the mom who has a fair number of mutual contacts, who I haven't even had a proper conversation with. The handful of people in the "No Mutual Friends" group who I have chatted with for hours and hours on end. Perhaps we could have those conversations because they haven't got the low-down on me from anyone else? I can't help but think so.

It makes no sense! And I'm getting irritated. After spending all this time on sequencing and logistics I have absolutely nothing to show for it.

And then it hits me! I am doused in a wave of peace and acceptance: the answer I'm looking for is this: If I ever happened to throw a fantastically humungous party and invited everyone I know, and if FaceBook is a fair statistical reflection of the people that I know, THEN at least everyone will have one other person to talk to, and I'll introduce the O mutual friends to each other, or not invite themat all, whatever, and my hubby and I can mingle between them all. Short sigh - problem solved.

(Nothing)

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I know, right!?!

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Ok then.

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She shuffles offstage.

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And the madness continues...