Seeing spots

On the morning of the day we were to collect Princess Pepper (our sweet baby dalmatian who is keeping me so the hell up at night I am rapidly losing my grip on reality), we stopped by the local vetshop (where I have been in and out of a number of times before and never ever experienced the kind of reception that we got on that morning).

The shop assistant asked how she could help. We said we needed puppy stuff.

Oh my! Clean-up on aisle 5! Someone give the nice lady a tranquiliser, please.

"Ooooh, a puppeeeeee! Arrrrrrr. That's sooooooo sweetie-peetie-pipey-pie! Let me give you this, and this and some happy little bit of this. You're going to be sooooooo happy! I'm so so so very happy for you." And also some other blubbery stuff along the lines of I-don't-know-you--and-we've-just-met-and-now-we-can-be-best-friends-forever!

Um.

Well, I get that "dog people" might think that other people with dogs are also"dog-people", and that there might be some kind of secret "dog-people" handshake and special "dog-people" language, but I wish to set the matter straight. For me.

I am not a dog person.

Also,

I am not a cat person.

And so,

I think,

I might not be much of an animal person at all.

There. I said it.

Make no mistake; I've tried, really I have, to be an "animal person". But, and it really hurts a bit to say it, I've failed miserably.

I remember once, a tree-hugging-kitten-saving friend of mine said that you can tell so much about a person by knowing how they are with animals. Only people who genuinely love animals are worth the time of day, in her opinion. Wow! Talk about putting pressure on little old not-an-animal-lover-me!

Can I just say this? Cats make me sneeze. I feel incredibly dirty when a dog is around. No, puppy breath is not delightful, it makes me feel a bit queasy actually. I do not get a thrill from being "kissed" hello, by an overly zealous and extremely slobbery hound. I really hate that sniff-in-the-crotch canine greeting. When I've been around animals everything feels dusty, smells a little dank, needs a wash.

If you're into stocks and shares, let me give you a little "heads-up": buy Dettol. 

I am going through so much hand soap and disinfectant at the moment! I think my hands have shrunk, I've washed them so much. Seriously! My wedding ring (which I don't take off much because I'm afraid I'll lose it) has been polished and scrubbed so much that it is shining like it did when it was new - and that was more than ten years ago!

So why the puppy then? you ask. I nod my head slowly. Look, I think she's really sweet, and cute in particular and a very handsome dog in general. It's not that I don't like her. I'd just like to like her from a distance, so I can preserve my  private bubble - keep it smelling like me and not like veterinary formulated puppy pellets. I'm alone at home a lot, and recent neighbourhood events have stressed the need for having an extra pair of eyes on our property - without getting all "ooh-the-crime-in-SA-makes-it-worth-changing-your-nationality". We needed a dog, and I don't know that I'd have taken more kindly to any other kind of dog than a dal. 

So here we are extending our family with a spotty puppy (who, by the way, is near impossible to see when she's standing on a sheet of newspaper). Give me time to adjust.